Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ich habe heute mich gefunden.

I remember.
I remember what I loved about this city.
I remember the burden the Lord laid on my heart.

I found myself today.

Ich vermisse jeder, aber muss ich weiter ohne sie.
Und ich weiß nicht warum bin ich hier, aber Gott weißt, und nur er.

Heute, erinnere ich mich.

Ich habe heute die Stadt besichtigen.
For your sake, that'll be the last of the German.
Some of the very famous touristy places. Places I had been before. Places normal people go.
Its funny, the closer and closer you get to these places, the more english you here. Well done, America.

I started the day off by buying a day ticket for all public trans, so I could get around easily enough. Trams, subways, and busses all awaited me.
It was cold today.
Not just cold, cold. Windy cold.
I took some Pictures. If my photographer friends were here, they'd probably freak out.

Before today, I'd been slightly discouraged. My German was terrible, I didn't get out to do anything, I got lost my first time out alone, I've been sick, etc...
Stupid things I let get to my head.

I decided to go to Alexanderplatz first. I heard it was awesome, and a lot of people go there, and it was easy to get too.
I get to a station called Ostkreuz, and am trying to figure out which train to take, because I can take 4 different ones that all lead me in the right direction.
After missing I'm sure, 3 trains, I find the exact one I want, and as I'm waiting, I hear the lady in the wheel chair behind me ask for me to help her onto the subway.
I say gladly.
And I proceed to talk to her in German. I tell her what I'm doing in Berlin, and ask her about her life.
Side note, most Germans would've helped her. But they wouldn't have talked to her. The people here don't talk to strangers without prompt. Not like us in America. Even if they're doing something for the other.

So as I apologize for my terrible German and such, she asks me,
"So you're really interested in us Germans?"
I say definitely.

And a tear rolls down her cheek.

I continue talking to her and we exit on the same station.
I find a Starbucks (creature of habit), and start to journal. Than I realize something.
I have exactly what I wanted. Ich habe genau was habe ich gewollt.
And I've been so blinded by sadness of leaving,
that I forgot the joy of coming.

I love this place.
I love the people (well, most).
I love the culture (well, most).
I wanted to move her six months ago.
I moved here six months later.
What love, has the Lord bestowed on me, that I receive my hearts desire.
And I don't eternally rejoice for it...
I'm guilty of great sin.
Forgive me, Father.
My loss is counted just to know you. What joy it is to know you.

I went to Potsdammer Platz which is a huge shopping place/theater and walked around.
Then to the Brandenburg Gate. To the Reichstag. To Tegel (and unfortunately the ice cream shop we often visited in June is closed to February). To back home.
I made friends with these two dudes who work at a 24 hour Döner Kebap shop in Tegel.
It'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Everybody here smokes. Everybody here drinks. Everybody here is silently in pain.
Everybody here looks cold, all the time. Regardless of seasons.
Joy is unusual.
Love is corrupt.
Peace is mistaken.
Patience is useless.
Kindness is rare.
Gentleness is impossible.
Faithfulness is unheard of.
Self-Control is unnecessary.

Hope is nonexistent.

And friends, thats not just Germany. Thats the nature we all carry with us.

The Spirit, of the Sovereign Lord, is on me.
And I cannot keep silent anymore.
And I can't be all about my convenience anymore.
Germany needs healing.
So many hurt. So many wounded. So many dying.
They want the healing, they just do not know how to receive it.

And they wont believe in God, unless they see Him.
I believe, their desire to see Him, is not one of rebellion and disbelief.
Its one of wanting to know for certain what is what because they have been lied to, and deceived so many times.

And I believe the Father is going to honor that.
And reveal Himself.
Joel 2:28-32.

28 "And afterward,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.

29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

30 I will show wonders in the heavens
and on the earth,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.

31 The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD.

32 And everyone who calls
on the name of the LORD will be saved;
for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem
there will be deliverance,
as the LORD has said,
among the survivors
whom the LORD calls.

The Lord is calling Germany.
And they're beginning to call back.

Friends. I ask you to join with me in prayer for Berlin and overall Germany.
That their guilt and shame would ultimately make them seek the ultimate Healer.
And that they would be healed.

I found myself in all of this today. Not only me, but also the Lord.
And He is here, with me.


  1. until we know who we are and where we come from we cannot see GOD rightly. the germans may have it easier in this regard. i pray that the GOD of the universe, the GOD of jonah and the GOD of isaiah again once proves his faithfulness. that HIS spirit will fall think on this place. that many may hear and their hearts be opened.

    taylor thank you for sharing. thank you for going. thank you for being honest.

    you make it easier to go...

  2. Taylor, this is sweet. Keep it up.

  3. This... yes this amazes me. It makes me want to help but i can't so I will pray :) I'll be reading this so YOU better keep BLOGGING :)

    It takes but one to change a nation.

  4. It brings tears to my eyes to hear that we have made others feel like so.
    To have any interest in them in forign, how sad this is that because of the past we think people are like this. when all is new no more sorrow. God will bring up Germany in his hand and hold them in his arms and say, your shame, is gone, your gult is no more. It amazed me that such a nation feels such guilt upon them because a man brought shame to them, its not their fault for the past. Compassion is much need. praying for Germanies people, that their hearts will no longer be filled with shame and guilt, that they will see the Love that God has for them.