Wednesday, March 24, 2010


I know a lot of people complain about how we live in a consuming culture and how its time to change that. I'm sick of hearing it, as well as saying it. But I think I'm sick of hearing it because its true. The West is made to consume. To take in. To experience. To find satisfaction in anything and everything.

For awhile now, I've felt slightly distant from God. And when I say slightly, I mean slightly in the sense to sound like I'm still doing ok, when I'm not. I feel like my prayers are hindered. My worship is invalid. The scriptures I read are bland. Everythings becoming less enjoyable in my walk.

And yes, we could down the road that says, "Taylor, keep pushing regardless of how you feel. We don't pursue God because how it makes us feel."

I wish I could say thats true. But I'm kind of sick of living a lie.
Because lets face it folks. If God's presence did make us feel complete, why would we seek Him?

If something about God didn't satisfy every desire in us, why would we even try to find Him out?

We wouldn't.

I've heard the question, "If you never encountered God again for the rest of your life, and had to rely on your knowledge of the Bible and your previous encounters with Him in order to seek Him, would you still seek Him?"

Everyone jumps to that questions, shouting "Yes! Of course!"

However friends, I cannot say that.
If I never experienced God after today, and had to rely on myself, that isn't much of a relationship with God. My hope that I put in God cannot transfer to my knowledge. I would no longer pursue the Lord. Because in fact, if the presence of God isn't something that validates everything we believe, than what is it?

God knows every desire in us. He put them in us Himself.

I'm convinced many of us, including me, have fallen into the lie that God cannot satisfy those desires. Whether they be physical or relational or whatever.

I believed for so long that God could not meet my needs in that sense. Sure, God can provide the physical, but as far as emotional and relational needs? Nope. Because, I mean, if I really believed that, I think I would be seeking my satisfaction in Him more and more and harder and harder. But if He can't meet them, then that's ok. I still love God. I still worship Him. I just make idols to fill my needs in those aspects, but God can have the rest.

I'm starting to sound like Cain: giving whats left to God.

But dudes. Look. God is relationship. Trinity. HE is the definition of companionship. Friendship with Him is glorious. Its what we're made for.
God made us to glorify Him. That is our single purpose. And guess what.

We get satisfaction in it.

We have idols. Friends. Food. Future spouses. Churches. Jobs. Governments. HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS. Cars. Houses.
We're living blind, friends. God is calling us to through them down, and seek Him fully.
We've heard the idol talk so many times. But I'm convinced, that if we aren't searching for God like we would for silver and gold, if we are always feeling unsettled and look for satisfaction in other sources when we know we should be seeking God, and we feel guilt accordingly, we still have idols.

Ezekiel 16.
The faithless bride we are. I can't imagine how I break God's heart.
Deuteronomy 8.
We must remember to thank God for what He has given us, or we forget Him and make ourselves idols.
Proverbs 27:20.
We will find ourselves never satisfied with addictions and idols, because death and destruction are never quenched. The grave has a mighty appetite.

Deuteronomy 4:28-30.
"And there you will serve gods of wood and stone, the work of human hands, that neither see, nor hear, nor eat, nor smell. But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search after Him with all your heart and with all your soul."

Its time to give God all He deserves.
Time to stop robbing Him of us.
Because Jesus paid the price for us.
Stop consuming. Start being thankful regardless of what you have.
And if nothing material, you still have God. And He, my friends, is more than enough.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I could write about a lot of things right now.
A lot of things.

But I feel there is something I need to confess. And to say.

To the women. Not girls.
I know nothing has ceased me, accept what is common to everyone else. But in that, repentance must still be made. No excuses this time. I have to own up to my responsibility. And, to return to you the honor and dignity that has been stolen, I for one will decide to no longer keep in this rut. I’m under grace now, and the bar has been raised. Therefore I shall take hold off the self-control necessary, that Christ gave me, to keep my eyes on your eyes, and not on your body.
To my sisters in the Body. And those whom I may not be united with in Christ, but are still loved by the same Father. I have something very sincere I must say.

I am sorry. From the bottom, of my heart.

I have failed you. I have treated you like you are all object. Mere tools of pleasure. My heart has lusted after you. The God-given desire in me, for physical intimacy, I allowed to take over. My heart hasn’t waited.

Forgive me. I desire to clear this so I may worship the Lord. In purity.
I need your forgiveness.
I have not defended you like you deserve. Like royalty, willing to die to protect against all attacks physical, mental, emotional, verbal and spiritual. I have not acting in such love, of laying my life down. But the Lord says you are worthy of such honors. And I say, I shall no longer be on the opposite side, waiting for another opportunity to please the nature.

Rather, treating you, my sisters, with absolute purity. Encouraging you. Recognizing your potential in the Kingdom. You are beautiful. And not just physically. The Lord has opened my eyes to see the beauty on the inside that we say we all really want, but its lies. The Lord is the only one who can open the eyes of your heart to see such wonder.
For now on, madams, you are respected, dignified and honored in my eyes.

To the one whom the Lord has given me, if she, being the grace and that she is, exists.
Forgive me for not keeping completely pure. For not giving you all of myself. For letting my heart wander for other men’s wives. I am an adulterer in nature. I am unfaithful to you. I plead your forgiveness. Because, you mean everything to me, and I don’t even know you yet. But to know that the Lord has given you to me, reminds me of how good He is. You already reflect His defining characteristics. You are whom I desire to give the rest of me too. Only you. No one else. No other woman can become you. I desire you. Because He made us for each other. But. I’ve been unfaithful and don’t deserve you. And if you didn’t even forgive me, I would understand. But this is my apology.

Lord, thank you for your great grace. Bless these women, for undergoing so much misconduct. Restore them. Take them out of those avenues, and bring them home. Home to your loving arms. To where love is not earned, but freely given. Just like royalty.

To the guys.

Dudes. Brothers. We need to step things up.
We've let our views of woman be polluted by culture.
So many things in our culture telling us and showing us that women are merely here to please us.
Pornography says so. Masturbation says so. Cheap relationships say so. Media says so.
And we all struggle with these. We all do.
But men. We need to come to our senses. These girls, yes, even the ones that sell themselves on the streets or to a camera, are daughters of the King. They have enough men treating them like a sex object.

Now is our time.
A time to respect our sisters.
To love them with an unconditional love.
To serve them, like the princesses they are.
And maybe, by being Jesus in purity to them, we can change what the culture says they are, what the culture says we are.

We are men of dignity.
And we cannot be united with the adulteress any longer.
She has been on her corner waiting for us, and we've been naively going along with lust for far too long.
No longer. To throw off these things that hinder us. To have self-control.
I, myself have succumb to these things, and am all to familiar with them.
But because God is showing me who I am, and who He is, I will not tolerate my nature anymore.
No longer will I offer the parts of my body as slaves to sin. I am, a slave a righteousness. A slave of purity.

We were bought with a price. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20.

Now is the time.

We are the body. Together. Its time to love like brothers and sisters. Coheirs, together.
We are made for each other. For God.
We cannot keep the pollution any longer.

Friday, March 5, 2010


There is something deep inside me. Something that wants someone to notice the littlest things about me. To pay full attention to me. To really understand me. Not just partially, but fully. Completely. Understand my intentions. My expectations. The slightest habits I have. How I drink my coffee, my sleeping patterns, my mourning routine.

I know that no one can fill that desire.
and its unfair for me to expect anyone too.

But I desire to be known.
Not in a famous sort of way.

In an intimate friendship where nothing is hidden sort of way.

No one, not even a spouse, can fill that desire.

Psalm 139.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

Jeremiah 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.

Before anything. Before Adam, the garden, the fall, and even light, God knew what your favorite color would be. He knew what your favorite song would be. He knew how many showers you would take over the span of your life. The places you'd go. The car accidents you'd have. The friends who would influence you the most. The color of your first car (and for some odd cases, what you would spray pant on that car...). The moments in your life when you felt the most alive. The times where you felt completely alone and abandoned. Your favorite weather setting. Your style of clothes. The way you would come to Him. How the color of your eyes would change from blue to hazel. How you would break your arm when you were 8. What mentor would influence you the most. Your first job. Your first speeding ticket. How many pairs of socks you had at age 16. That your greatest fear is being forgotten. That you only wear Chucks. That you would play the guitar. That you hate wearing watches. That you would move to Germany in January of 2010.

He knew it all.
Everything. Everything.

Through Him knowing us, He must always be with us. Experience things with us.
David says in verse 7 of Ps 139, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" and in verse 9-10, "If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."

Even in the depths of the storm. God is with us.
He knows our reaction to trial.

And He is with us, to calm us. To carry us.

Er ist immer mit uns. Für immer bleibt Er mit uns.
Nie zu weggehen.

Wir sind ganz bekannt.

Und das ist meine Gedanke für heute. Ich hoffe du hast es genossen.