There is something deep inside me. Something that wants someone to notice the littlest things about me. To pay full attention to me. To really understand me. Not just partially, but fully. Completely. Understand my intentions. My expectations. The slightest habits I have. How I drink my coffee, my sleeping patterns, my mourning routine.
I know that no one can fill that desire.
and its unfair for me to expect anyone too.
But I desire to be known.
Not in a famous sort of way.
In an intimate friendship where nothing is hidden sort of way.
No one, not even a spouse, can fill that desire.
Psalm 139.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.
Before anything. Before Adam, the garden, the fall, and even light, God knew what your favorite color would be. He knew what your favorite song would be. He knew how many showers you would take over the span of your life. The places you'd go. The car accidents you'd have. The friends who would influence you the most. The color of your first car (and for some odd cases, what you would spray pant on that car...). The moments in your life when you felt the most alive. The times where you felt completely alone and abandoned. Your favorite weather setting. Your style of clothes. The way you would come to Him. How the color of your eyes would change from blue to hazel. How you would break your arm when you were 8. What mentor would influence you the most. Your first job. Your first speeding ticket. How many pairs of socks you had at age 16. That your greatest fear is being forgotten. That you only wear Chucks. That you would play the guitar. That you hate wearing watches. That you would move to Germany in January of 2010.
He knew it all.
Everything. Everything.
Through Him knowing us, He must always be with us. Experience things with us.
David says in verse 7 of Ps 139, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" and in verse 9-10, "If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."
Even in the depths of the storm. God is with us.
He knows our reaction to trial.
And He is with us, to calm us. To carry us.
Er ist immer mit uns. Für immer bleibt Er mit uns.
Nie zu weggehen.
Wir sind ganz bekannt.
Und das ist meine Gedanke für heute. Ich hoffe du hast es genossen.
I want to steal this........ may i steal this? I shall credit you for it :)
ReplyDeleteoh Taylor, Taylor. you ARE gifted, VERY GIFTED at WRITING and PEOPLE! you're one of the most avid readers i know, too, and through your experiences, i think God wants you to keep writing. whatever He teaches you, keep writing it. i think there's probably far more than blogs inside of you as well. i'm really encouraged by what you've written, and can relate to feelings of failure in certain areas, but here's something i was just told recently (not to say that we can't still work on foreign languages or music because we both love music) but think on this: suppose God allowed us to struggle in truly excelling in certain areas like we would have wished so that we can live HIS dream for us, which is sometimes different and always greater than our dream for ourselves? does that make sense? i think it could very well be true. . .you and i do have stubborn personalities, after all. tell me your thoughts.
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